


diet mountain dew (do you think we'll be in love?)

by deokjun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Toxic Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships, abusive!mark, im sorry udsijfhuiusdf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 05:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17258252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deokjun/pseuds/deokjun
Summary: Mark dislikes seeing Donghyuck holding hands with Jeno.





	diet mountain dew (do you think we'll be in love?)

**Author's Note:**

> happy new year!  
> please note that i do not support toxic relationships in any way. this is only a work of fiction. get out of it immediately if you're in one. no matter how long you've been together, the other party has no right over you and your consent.
> 
> as usual, not beta'd and this one is more rushed than the others.  
> title from lana del rey - diet mountain dew.

“Thanks so much for helping us, Hyuck,” Jeno beams, hands squeezing Donghyuck’s fingers in a meaningful way. The boy only laughs and nods shyly at Jeno’s remarks. Renjun raises his thumb in agreement. “Yeah, won’t finish the slightest if you didn’t lend a hand. You’re a livesafer!” Jaemin who has his arms around Renjun’s shoulder approves. 

The four boys walk down the gate with light jokes and occasional loud laugh from Jaemin or Renjun. Donghyuck is good at bringing conversations, they say, it feels like only four of them are there and the others are completely forgotten. Falling to their own world, cackling over small box of joy.

Donghyuck catches a familiar blue car from the corner of his eyes—followed quickly by something that makes his stomach churns; flip upside down; butterfly’s wings flapping around. Everything at once. It’s him, _him_. The other three are still goofing around when Donghyuck carefully raises his stare, looking closer at the certain person who occupied the driver seat. It was visible because the windows are rolled down. A man with light blue denim jacket and messy black hair, also a pair of the sharpest eyes Donghyuck has ever known.

Donghyuck bites his lower lip as he feels his breath being taken away by the blissful sight.

All at once, the feelings mix up in his stomach. Partly drags him down, wanting to come just run and come _home_ —the other part screaming for him to nail his feet on the ground and not go anywhere. His hands suddenly become cold, fingers twitching as if a spark of electricity crawls to them.

“—Hyuck?” Renjun’s soft voice brings him back to reality, which Donghyuck quickly snaps his head to and put up a cheeky smile. Jaemin raises one of his brows. “Sorry. Spaced out,” The corner of his eyes crinkle, feeling giddy about what’s going to happen. Donghyuck shrugs and pats Jeno on the shoulder. “Yeah, well. I think I should get going. Mark hyung’s here. Promised to grab some lunch with him. Can’t make the love of my life wait for too long, right?”

The trio looks at Donghyuck’s hurried antics questioningly. The sun kissed boy doesn’t seem to care much about his friends’ look, however, as he just legs away and waves his hand. “Mark hyung?” Jeno sounds like he’s asking to himself, but the voice he emits ends up being too loud. Not like the subject of the question would hear or care, tough.

“See you guys tomorrow!” Donghyuck turns around and grins at them, running faster to the said blue car.

The side mirror is rolled lower  Donghyuck reaches him. The driver, black haired boy with light blue denim jacket, doesn’t spare Donghyuck a glance—he looks straight, as if Donghyuck isn’t there. “Hi, hyung,” The younger greets with a cheerful glee, his wide smile reaches the crinkles of his eyes. He opens the door and sits himself on the front seat just beside the boy. He throws his bag to the backseat. “Sorry I made you wait! The lunch offer hasn’t expired yet, has it? Our usual place? So excited for the _bibimbap_!”

Donghyuck’s overjoyed tone serves as an exact opposite to the quiet atmosphere in the car. The engine is roaring beneath his feet, slowly moving when the gas pedal is pressed and the steering wheel gradually rolling as the driver—Mark—takes it. He only peeks Donghyuck’s smile from the side mirror, barely recipocrating the beam. “Starbucks,” he states in icy voice.

The younger turns his head to Mark, eyes widening in surprise at the sudden change of decision. Mark presses the button to roll the window back up.

Donghyuck _hates_ coffee to the last droplets of his blood. The smells make him feel nauseous, make him want to puke. He never stops questioning how does people find it as a relaxation? His head would always feel like spinning by the second he steps his foot on a coffee shop. Not to mention the bitter taste—oh, God, that’s the worst part of it. Just a drop of it and Donghyuck can pass out right here and there. His stomach can’t contain coffee at all. Few gulps of it and Donghyuck will have a stomachace for three days straight, the burning sensation that is nowhere near pleasant will only subside a little bit after some painkillers. 

The exact opposite is Mark. He basically operates under caffeine, can’t even think straight if he hasn’t finished his morning portion. Donghyuck has no idea how did he manage every morning with Mark drinking his own-brewed coffee on their breakfast table everytime Donghyuck stays in. Mark never tells him to stay near him while he’s drinking—but Donghyuck is just Donghyuck who likes to make his beloved boy happy.

“Um, does it have to be Starbucks…?” Donghyuck voice comes out small, he swallows his own saliva upon catching Mark’s furrowed brows. He feels so small even without Mark doing anything. Donghyuck squirms as he presses himself to the door, trying to pry himself away from Mark’s lingering anger. “B—but if you like, it’s okay. I’ll wear a mask or something.”

The added response comes out more staggered than Donghyuck had imagined. The younger boy casts away from Mark’s direction. His head tries to calm himself down, thinking things other than coffee and its nasty smell. Which he fails miserably by the second he tries—images of the brewery already got his head dizzy, stomach churning uncomfortably. 

He had already pictured lunch at a small eatery Donghyuck discovered with Mark few years back. The eatery is quite old, but the landlady there has this very nice smile and greets everyone equally. She makes the best dumplings Donghyuck has always liked and even spares some extra for Donghyuck if he misses few weeks without visiting the booth. It has little to no coffee smell in it, exceptionally save for Donghyuck’s measure.

Mark promised a lunch this morning, not even a bit did Donghyuck expect it will be a ride to his most-hated place. The warm image of the old landlady crushed immediately as he steps into the car, Donghyuck could only do nothing about it. He has to follow Mark, unless he wants things to be upside down just by a stupid action his selfish head would often make.

The car smoothly stops at a red traffic. Mark taps at his steering wheel. “I saw that you made some good friends today, Hyuck?” was the first thing he had directly said today. If Donghyuck was a puppy, his ear would instantly perk up and his tail swooshing right and left at Mark’s sentence. His current actions mirror it, though—wide smile on full cheeks, wide twinkling eyes looking at Mark while he nods vigorously.

“I did! I helped Jeno and his friends to sort out some stuffs in the library. It was fun!” Donghyuck straightens his back, body facing at Mark and hands clasped in front of his chest. Mark doesn’t react at all, his face still straight and blank. The car’s atmosphere is really weird because Donghyuck is all worked up and enthusiastic while Mark is whatever. “They haven’t sort the books since last year, _hyung_! Can you imagine that? Then the librarians gave us each a milk box and we drank it together. It’s my favourite vanilla flavor! After that I—” 

“—hold hands with that Lee Jeno guy and looking like a dirty slut. I know.” Mark completes the sentence sharply. Donghyuck eyes widen, his chest feels as if there’s a big knife stabbing on it repeatedly. He freezes, arms still in the air, lips slightly gaping. The tips of his fingers are cold and trembling, he inhales quietly. He thinks his ears are betraying him for catching such things, but Mark’s serious attitude doesn’t get it anywhere.

Donghyuck lowers his volume. “ _Hyung_ , isn’t that… a bit mean? Jeno and I are really good friends, you know?”

Mark turns his head just slightly and pierced Donghyuck, brows curved downwards with unreadable gaze on his eyes. Donghyuck feels he’s shrinking on his seat, toes squirming and tips of his fingers grow cold. He twitches a bit in fear. As Mark’s icy glare looks him from head to toe, Donghyuck fidgets his shirt. He’s mad. He’s _very_ mad. Donghyuck pushed the wrong button.

He sees Mark clicking his tongue before pulling the gas pedal. “Come up with a better excuse, will you? Have that head for a good use,” The car swiftly increases its pace, the machine below them growling just slightly. Donghyuck holds his breath and throws his stare onto the street. “No friends hold each other’s hands like that. Just tell me you’re trying to get him into your sheets and it’s done. Meddlesome.”  

He _hates_ this. When he’s serving no good to Mark. Donghyuck often catches himself saying something wrong that can ruffle Mark’s low temper. He doesn’t blame Mark at all—as everything his boy says will always be right to him. Donghyuck hates the fact that it’s always him who can’t control himself, who often slips into accidental topics. He should’ve known better, he should’ve choosen better wordings and took better actions.

The voices in Donghyuck’s head shouts at him. His ears hurt despite the silent noise from the car alone. _Look at what you’ve done_ , the voices yell. _You can’t even converse properly with your own boyfriend_. It keeps on repeating, pulsating alongside his heart. Donghyuck lowers his head and bites down his lips, trying to contain the threatening tears on his eyes. His head almost feels like it can explode anytime just from the bursting emotions.

Some of what Mark says after that are missed. They don’t reach Donghyuck ears—he gets some chunks of it: _Donghyuck, stupid, time-wasting,_ and a whole lot disgusting names that spikes through his chest. Donghyuck feels his breath trembles when he opens his mouth slightly, throat becoming exceptionally painful when he swallows down his saliva. His sight gets blurry—the road is thankfully smooth enough to keep his tears from rolling down. 

 _Maybe he’s right_ , Donghyuck thinks. _I really do get too close at everyone and I’m just wasting his time_. He never gets a faster response from his head then. He grips the hem of his shirt—Mark, his childhood bestfriend and boyfriend by four years, knows the best. Everything he says must be true and unquestionable. Donghyuck knows well how witty Mark is and he never makes mistake. What comes from Mark is only truth and Donghyuck knows that very well. No matter how it wounds his feeling, he can never turn against him because Mark is _always_ right.

“Donghyuck,” Mark’s commanding voice breaks him through his thought. Donghyuck shuffles quickly and wipes his wet eyes with the back of his hand. Head turning aside to properly look at the boy. “Yes?” His voice comes out more raspy—of course—he silently curses himself. Mark’s sigh is audible and Donghyuck feels worse.

He has his hand offered to Donghyuck, as if he’s asking for something. The younger raises one of his brows. “Your phone. I asked you to give me your phone, but you didn’t seem to be with me. Are you getting tired of me?” 

As if on cue, Donghyuck scrambles to fish the phone on his jeans pocket. He almost got his phone slipping out of his grip due to his shaking fingers—his eyes aren’t even brave enough to hold a contact with Mark’s when he slides the gadget to Mark’s grip.

Mark quickly takes the phone and Donghyuck lowers his head once more, making himself feel awfully even smaller in Mark’s presence.

The black-haired skilfully uses his left hand to operate the cellphone. He shifts back and forth from the road and the screen. Donghyuck thinks it’s quite dangerous and it can lead them to a car crash—but then again, he doesn’t have the courage to say it loud. Not now, not to Mark. The littlest of his heart trusts what Mark is doing. He wouldn’t drag him to a car crash, he’s capable of keeping him safe.

Because that’s what Mark has been doing for his whole life. No matter what’s going on, Mark always keeps Donghyuck safe. Mark can pull Donghyuck to every single kind of mess and he’ll carry Donghyuck back with soft fingers ghosting on the place that would hurt if only Mark didn’t jump in to save the day. Donghyuck never comes home with bruises even after the nastiest fight.

He’s Mark’s to ruin and put back together—to be broken to pieces and re-built in an expanse of a chaste kiss; only Mark has the right Donghyuck has given.

So even if Mark hangs him on a cliff with a wet hand, Donghyuck would still tell people he believes Mark with all of his existence. If Mark tells him to stay underwater for a fourty eight hours, Donghyuck would do it without asking an inch. He trusts Mark _that_ much. No questions asked, no doubts thought.

Mark clicks his tongue once again and Donghyuck is taken back from his train of thoughts. He’s still hiccuping a bit and breath still staggering, but it’s so much better than five minutes ago. Before the younger can register anything, he sees his phone flying carelessly from Mark’s grasp to his direction. Donghyuck lets out a small gasp before trying his best to catch it, to no result sadly. His phone falls near his feet, which he collects immediately.

No cracks on the screen, thank God. Donghyuck unlocks it in the quietest motions possible, succesfully pulling out a questionable glance. It’s locked. Donghyuck never puts on a password on his phone after Mark’s request few years back. The boy timidly turns to his side, looking at the driver. “I’m not going to let that Jeno boy to have his way in our time. When you’re with me, then you’re only with me,” Mark says in a straight tone. Donghyuck feels his heart drops at the intonation.

He barely has anyone’s number except Mark’s and his parents’. The fact sinks down together with another gulp he takes.

Mark feels so distant everytime he uses that tone. There’s something in Mark’s voice that makes Donghyuck barely recognizes who’s he talking to. It’s Mark, but at the same time it isn’t. It has a strong authority to it that makes Donghyuck gulps down his thought and muttered a small _yes_. It can’t be helped—if it’s what have to be done, then Donghyuck believes. If this is a little punishment he gets from Mark for touching someone too intimately, then Donghyuck won’t argue. 

The car paces down when they reach the destination. Donghyuck once again feels his stomach flip when the huge name is shown right in front of him. Starbucks has a nice brown shade on its building, but it never fails to make Donghyuck cough in disgust. The same brown color is almost always associated with coffee, which Donghyuck absolutely despises because brown is such a nice shade to begin with.

Mark parks the car calmly on one of the free spot. Donghyuck swears his breakfast is crawling back through his esophagus. His stomach is upset even before any smell comes to his sense. The sound of Mark unbuckling his seatbelt is doubled up, as if it happens _right_ beside his ear.

Donghyuck wants nothing but just to vomit right now. The sight of the building alone can already make him experience this, God knows what will he be like if he opens the door and steps out of the car. The younger grips on his seatbelt tightly, water wets his lashes as he tries to gulp down any thoughts. For Mark, he thinks. If Mark really wants this—then he should too. Donghyuck has done a lot today and he doesn’t want to tick Mark’s temper even further.

“Donghyuckie. Baby,” Unlike the previous times where Mark’s voice would literally drag him back, this one is a lot more softer. It’s like Mark’s carefully holding Donghyuck’s fingers and walks him back to where he’s now. By the time Donghyuck blinks to his senses, he sees Mark leaning close to him. With his sparkling, gentle stare Donghyuck falls in love with.

His breath hitches, surprised by the sudden treatment from his boyfriend. Mark provides him a tender grin on his lips, eyes attentively sharing a contact with Donghyuck’s glassy one. Donghyuck parts his mouth when one of Mark’s hand creeps up, cupping his cheeks as if he’s made of glass. So different from the blunt remarks and bitter glares he received prior. Somewhere in Mark’s deep and loving eyes, Donghyuck melts.

“Listen, I only want the best for you, okay?” Mark brushes his thumb near Donghyuck’s eyes, tracing the wet marks from Donghyuck’s early breakdown. He sighs softly, raising both of his brows in an apologizing manner. “I don’t want people to talk about you and Jeno. They can get harsh with their talks and I never want you to hurt. You heard the gossips they spread around, right? God knows what I’m gonna do if my little baby here becomes their newest flame.” 

Donghyuck bites his lower lips and nods. He finds himself leaning to Mark’s gentle touches after closing his eyes for a while. The tears wet more parts of his lashes—a little drop of it rolls down on his cheek, in which Mark wipes it in the most caring movement Donghyuck has ever seen and felt. Mark’s fond smile and twinkling eyes got him puddling on the feet, a voluntary _yes_ answers to Mark’s sentences.

Mark only wants Donghyuck to be safe, the latter repeats himself. His chest blooming with warm feeling. He doesn’t mind hearing all sort of the horrible things Mark has to say to him if it’s for his own good—Mark knows everything better. He trusts him. Even if Mark is going to break him into pieces and bend him to the unthinkable stretches, Donghyuck would willingly present himself for Mark’s liking. It’s for his own good, afterall.

“Now, are you strong enough for a coffee with me or do you want to eat your favourite _bibimbap_?” Mark asks, still in his featherlike voice. Not a second does he break the stare with Donghyuck, eyes still so full in adoration and love. Donghyuck’s chest tightens at the look he shares with Mark. He returns the smile. 

Mark _always_ knows the best.

“Coffee is fine.”


End file.
